To tweak or not to tweak?

The cost of youth: Necessary investment or expensive indulgence?

I spend hours upon hours staring at my own image a day. Not because I have a disorder but because my job involves constant video calls. The net result is that you become acutely aware of your face and your expressions and how those expressions often have a lasting impact. Add to this the social media obsession with looks, your 30-year-old friends having Botox and reports of work ageism, and I started to feel like a Luddite for not doing more to stop the ravages of time. The expensive creams and a high SPF whenever I leave the house had stopped the worst of it, but my frowning face was now a permanent feature. I also feel my face will impact my work, and there will likely be a point in the not-too-distant future where my age will no longer signal experience and wisdom but may instead suggest 'behind the times' and 'out of touch’. So, for all these reasons, I started to look at what could be done.

Photo by Victoria Rokita on Unsplash

Tweakments (cosmetic procedures), although not new, are more accessible than ever, and people are trying them at a younger age. However, any talk of ‘anti-ageing’ has stigma and shame around it; you are berated in some quarters if you do not embrace your wrinkles and grey hair. Even when talking with friends, there are murmurings of discouragement if you mention it: ‘You are beautiful as you are’ and ‘You don’t want to look weird’. However, the more you discuss it, the more people admit to doing it, and they are not always the ones you would suspect. That is the myth we are often sold that natural ageing is something obtainable to all, but if you are not blessed with good genes or have a predilection to frown on video calls, should there not be some redemption?

While it's true that traditionally, women are judged for not doing enough about their looks or doing too much, it's important to note that men are not immune from such judgement either. The topic of male anti-ageing is less visible in the media and less discussed among men. The prevailing advice for men is to make do with what you have and make the best of it with exercise. They often face more dramatic changes, such as hair loss and do not have the benefit of makeup. However, it's worth noting that the proportion of men seeking cosmetic treatments, while still relatively low, is steadily increasing year on year, indicating a shift in societal attitudes.

65% increase in men having botox and a 70% increase in men having fillers year on year. Ref plastic surgery.org

My anti-ageing journey started very early with hair dye, I have been going grey since University. However, in all other aspects, I have resisted doing anything more. I have tried my best to be healthy and look after my skin with a daily skincare regime, keeping out of the sun as much as possible and wearing a high SPF. I thought I was reasonably knowledgeable about anti-ageing until I worked at a prescription skincare brand and realised there was so much more out there. So I tried retinoids which my delicate skin struggled with, my husband uses them daily though. This is probably the way most men get into anti-ageing through their partners.

Photo by Sam Moghadam Khamseh on Unsplash

After a long search for an inexpensive (not cheap), qualified clinician, I booked a consultation. It was with a doctor rather than a nurse or a non-medical professional, which would cost more but would give me peace of mind. When she asked me what I wanted to do, I explained the frown marks that were now meeting and creating a visible hole in my face. I thought I would need fillers to fill the area; however, she shook her head and said I would first need Botox. The lines were ingrained and unlikely to go, and I would not get a glass forehead, which was not my aim anyway. After that brief explanation, she started to tell me about the other ‘high’ priorities I would need to look at. Firstly, she noticed my jawline. She diagnosed me with teeth grinding and said Botox would relax those muscles, and in time, I could slim my face and not crack my teeth, ok sounds good. Then, I looked at my brow and said I could do with some eye filler for my heavy brow. It is an area I’ve never been comfortable with. Finally, on the high-priority list, we’d not even got to the non-essential things. There was my decolletage; it could be pumped with hydrochloric acid. The damage for all of this: £2,710 and this would probably need to be repeated at least once a year and for some elements 4 times.

After thinking that tweakments were accessible for many people, in reality it was not true at all. I could have gone to someone less medically trained and got it done for considerably less, but the thought of my injections near my jaw or eyes without medical training was too much of a risk for me, but you can see why people end up going to poorly trained people and get poor results. I ignored most of her critiques but went back to get the Botox for my frown line. I seemed to suffer from fatigue quite badly and was exhausted for at least 24 hours. The results were instantaneous I was frowning a lot less, and there was no glassy effect; my lines were still there, just less noticeable. People only noticed if I mentioned it, but the biggest difference for me was through the camera either video or cameras to me the improvement was vast. 

The imperfections highlighted by the doctor do start to play on your perception of yourself, and I can see how you could easily get body dysmorphia. Also, seeing the results that look so natural made me think, what's the problem with another tweak here or there? If I had all the money in the world, I could easily see this as very addictive and could see why people have gone too far. For me, that means when the face looks noticeably different than it did before, even if it looks better, I don’t want to look like an unrecognisable version of me.

I’m now on a route that, like my hair, will need consistent maintenance. I am not sure when will be the right time to do more or stop completely and let time take its course. Probably when I have stopped working, I will stop worrying that my age will count against me, and on a practical level not have the disposable income to continue it. Tweakments are a tool in my toolkit, like make-up, skincare and clothes, but I need to be realistic that I will continue to age and I won’t like it, but I am lucky to age whether that is ‘well’ or ‘not’.

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